Santa Trademarks

From Santa Poo to Cocaine Santa there is a Santa Trademark out there that may just make you laugh. In the Christmas episode of The Emily Show, I explore the hilarious world of Santa Trademarks.

Ok, what are trademarks?

First, some of the Trademarks I discuss are applications for trademark and are not, yet, registered Trademarks…however, if you are here for a giggle I figured you wouldn’t mind. If you are looking for a better understanding of Trademark law, this is more of an overview.

Trademarks are meant to protect consumers. The goal is for a consumer buying a good to be able to identify the source of that item and to eliminate confusion over similar products. Take Coke and Pepsi. Both have various trademarks protecting the name and branding on their cans and bottles. You wouldn’t pick up a red and white can and be confused that it didn’t taste like Pepsi. You know it’s a Coke. Speaking of coke…..

Cocaine Santa

I missed the moment that Cocaine Santa took the world by storm. I was unaware that this sweater (see image) was the number one seller on Amazon and that it was pulled from various online retailers…like Walmart. There are numerous news stories about the Cocaine Santa sweaters, and possibly the most coverage came from it being pulled from Walmart Canada’s website. I would love to know what you think of Cocaine Santa…so leave me a comment. That said, I can totally see why someone decided to trademark this. What I didn’t understand is why it’s trademarked for onesies? Maybe to just corner the market, or just round out that entire clothing registration category there. But I will be interested to see if next holiday season there are Cocaine Santa onesies….I guess there is a market for everything?

Santa Poo

From Cocaine Santa we have to talk about Santa Poo…at first I thought this was a toy of some kind, like that Unicorn Poo that’s everywhere in Target. I assumed some kind of Red, White and Green bearded Poo Emoji..or something like the image below which is what you will find if you google Santa Poo Emoji. But when I saw the complimentary Trademark filing I knew. The other Trademark is ‘Because even Santa has to go” I know it was the folks at Poo~Pourri. Their ad campaigns are always clever, and the Tag line was so on-brand for them I knew it was a Santa Poo~Pourri, but I hadn’t been able to find it in stores….next year I guess.

*Santa Poo Emoji from redbubble.com
* Santa Poo~Purri from their marketing material

Santa's Sack

Those aren’t the only Trademarks that gave me a giggle while searching for Santa Trademarks. The wide variety of Santa Sack trademarks, some predictable, some not so much…was amazing. I am only bummed that I couldn’t find the Santa’s Sack candle torch….but while searching for it I did come across a Santa’s Sweat Sack candle on Etsy and that counts for something. If only I could find the Santa’s Sack torch to light Santa’s Sweaty Sack with….but I digress. I can’t even begin to imagine what’s in Santa’s Suprise Sack….but maybe next Christmas it will be the toy to find.

Santa Slime

From Santa’s Sack, I slipped into the internet and found a wide variety of Santa Slime. While I couldn’t locate the product sold by the trademark registrant, Etsy is again the gift that keeps on giving. Etsy gives us Santa Slime, Santa’s Cloudy Slime, Santa Belly Slime and a bunch of other dirty sounding shit…..like a Santa Snowball. Look, if you have seen Clerk’s you know why this is funny. My biggest regret is that I don’t have anymore white elephant parties to attend, but next year everyone is getting Santa Belly Slime with a Santa’s Sweaty Sack candle.

I hope that wherever and whenever you find this post and this episode of The Emily Show it brings you a little joy and a lot of laughs. I appreciate you and hope that you have a blessed and joyful holiday season however you celebrate….no judgment here!

LAST UPDATED: December 25, 2019